@SELFCROWNED

[tricher]

[The boy's dorm room in Abyss hasn't gotten any less messy in the seven months since the war started.

In fact, some would argue it's only gotten worse. (Some being Constance, primarily, in a forty minute tirade that only ended when Yuri threatened to surface for some sun.) He's commandeered the back shelves to transform them into a makeshift desk, littered with papers and books and maps and quills, organized in a way that seems to only make sense to Yuri. The colorful bottles that used to be strewn about here haven't been tidied up, just pushed to one side. He's nesting, Hapi titters whenever she's within earshot. Yuri wishes he had the energy to jab back.

He doesn't have the energy for anything other than Abyss, right now. And for that, just barely. He's added up the budget four times now and still can't get it where he needs. Yuri knows why, can't fool himself. They just plain don't have enough funds. So many mouths to feed, and so few hands to feed them. The cost for food is sky-high, and most merchants don't even make it close to the hollowed-out shell of Garreg Mach monastery-- deserted, supposedly. And it is, save for the forgotten that inhabit its basement. There's hardly even a soul to steal from. Yuri is used to solving difficult problems, enjoys the puzzle of it, but... he's nearing the end of his frayed rope.

He sighs deep, buries his face into his hands. There's a dull, throbbing pressure that's started to well up in his temples, refusing to dissipate even when he presses his thumbs into it. Maybe if he skips dinner for a week, there'll be enough gold to replace the most tattered of the children's clothing.

Maybe he's accidentally bet on something that can't win, this time.

Without realizing it, Yuri has begun to find the surface of his desk rather inviting. His head keeps tilting down every few minutes, hair falling into his face. And then, with little fanfare, Yuri's slumping forward onto his notebooks, falling asleep right there with his face buried into his arms. There's only so much avoiding sleep he can do before his body forces him to catch up like this.]

Comments

[selfcrowned]

[ The first thing anyone would say when asked to describe Balthus Albrecht is that he isn't good with money. This dismays him - he'd much rather they mention his muscles instead - but the truth of it can't be denied. Gold runs through his fingers like sand at any given opportunity. He means to repay his debts, sure, but then there is fun to be had, spies to pay off, or sometimes simply someone who needs the money more than him. It's never been too much of an issue in Abyss where the rules are made up and the debt collectors don't find you, but recently, even Balthus has had to put an end to his frivolity.

Though he doesn't understand any of the complex calculations Yuri is running in his head constantly, Balthus doesn't need to be a genius to understand their situation is dire. So he stops spending so much, silently puts every bit of money he can scrape of into the community fund, and doesn't say much about it.

What he has to offer to Abyss is being his jovial self. Enjoy the battles, flaunt his abs, and remain with everybody. Though concern for his family sometimes threatens to drive him outside, onto an excursion to check on them and be sure the war isn't consuming them, he never does.

He just keeps living his life with a more boisterous sense of normalcy than he actually feels and watches as Yuri spirals further and further away from them. Stubborn as he always is.

It's not late when Balthus decides to turn in from the night, so he makes no effort to be quiet as he returns to the dormitory and then he stops dead in his loud tracks because Yuri dozing off? That's a sight to behold. ]

Hey hey hey, that can't be comfortable. You might want to lay down, buddy.

[tricher]

[Relations are transactional. Yuri has learned as much in the same story rewritten a thousand different ways-- Aelfric's attention to the Ashen Wolves to push them to serve their purpose in the Rite of Rising, Yuri's crew working for him in exchange for protection, filthy nobles spinning him sweet words because they were looking to get something from him. It's never any different. He's accustomed to it by now, though, knows he needs to give to get, that every kindness has a value ascribed to it.

Balthus never collects. Yuri doesn't have much to offer these days, worn out as he is, and whatever coin he can scrounge up is sent elsewhere. He expects Balthus to turn tail and leave a cold bed behind. But each morning, Yuri wakes, and Balthus is still there. Inevitably tangled in a mess of blankets, usually, and snoring louder than a well-cast Thoron.

He's come to expect Balthus to be out late, entertaining crowds, showing off in the ring. He likes to watch his matches on occasion-- especially likes to see the buzz of excitement and mirth on the wane faces of the citizens of Abyss. It's too rare these days for Yuri's taste. But most nights, he's cooped up here, unable to sacrifice the quiet and the productivity it affords him.

Somehow, it's not Balthus's careless footsteps that wake him. But the moment he speaks, Yuri's head snaps up, a hand dropping to his waist where his sword is holstered.]

Balthus.

[It's a little breathless-- Yuri is usually unflappable, but it's fairly obvious Balthus caught him off guard. He runs a hand through his hair, looks back over his shoulder. His lip gloss is smudged.]

You're back early.

[Just when it seems like he's going to breeze past Balthus's reproach, he sighs.]

Can't. I'm not finished yet. Unless you'd like to take over?

[So Yuri could be up all night listening to the sound of the gears grinding in Balthus's head, instead.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Only a year ago, it would have been unthinkable to see Yuri in such a state. Even though they've been rooming together for a long time, Yuri's always effortlessly maintained an air of being untouchable. To a degree, he has that in common with every member of the Ashen Wolves. Constance's superiority, Hapi's apathy and even Balthus' airheaded nature... all of them are flaunting to the world only what they want it to see, leaving deeper struggles untouched. They wouldn't be in Abyss if they hadn't lived lives where this sort of attitude became necessary.

Yuri though... he's always been better at it than the rest of them. Yuri's facade never falters. They had to learn this the hard way during the Rite of Rising incident and though Balthus has felt they've become closer since then, genuine comrades, he's still hardly ever seen Yuri at anything but his best.

Now he's looking at his boss' messy make-up and exhausted demeanor and feels an uneasy twinge in his chest. He suppresses it and instead moves to come closer, giving a performative glance over the paperwork. As expected, absolutely none of it makes any sense to him. ]

Yeah no, 'fraid not. Unless you like to live very dangerously.

[ He'd add two lines and upset their balance for the rest of the season, he just knows it. ]

Though... I guess you already do. Even you have to start making mistakes when this tired. No good, boss. It's bed time.

[tricher]

[The way people perceive him isn't just a reflection of Yuri. What would Abyss look like to an outsider, seeing him weak and struggling? Or his gang? An easy target. Yuri is all too familiar with being made a victim, knows exactly the walls he needs to put up to keep from ending up underboot. A wolf backed into a corner still snarls and bites.

As for the facade lingering even amongst friends, lingering even in the privacy of the dorm... well. Old habits die hard, and these are old, old habits. But even in the past half year, Yuri's changed. It's subtle. A hint in the candidness of his expression, or the way he holds his body... Around Balthus, Yuri has allowed his mask to slip.

Balthus approaches, and Yuri sits up straighter in his chair, like that'll make him look any less worn down. The headache behind his eyes hasn't ebbed any. He snorts as he watches Balthus's perfunctory glance at the paperwork, covered in Yuri's delicate, looping penmanship. There's something almost... antiquated about the way his letters are shaped, as if mimicked from an ancient relic.]

I figured.

[Yuri crosses something out, writes another line while playing absent-mindedly with the ends of his hair. It's grown an inch or so longer than he usually keeps it, more by coincidence than anything intentional.]

Who do you think you are, my mother?

[Purely a turn of phrase. She was usually working when Yuri would have been shirking curfew.]

I'm fine, Balthus. I've slept less for worse. I'm not tired-- I don't have the time to be.

[selfcrowned]

[ Despite his concern, Balthus has to belt out a laugh at that retort. ]

Ain't ever been accused of that before.

[ 'Motherly' is the last adjective he'd use to describe himself and for good reason. It's not like he isn't self-aware. He has a tendency to get himself and others into trouble. ]

But also... no. That's not how it works.

[ Since Yuri is not listening to reason, it is time for action. Balthus leans over Yuri from behind, reaches over his shoulder and simply grabs hold of the pen. ]

You haven't been yourself lately, and it's starting to bother me.. You can't keep going like this.

[ It's a difficult intervention to make because Balthus knows that this isn't a matter of willing it to be better. They're scraping by here. Every day is a struggle to ward off freezing and starving and that is the good days, when there aren't different gangs and bandits trying to take the monastery ground for themselves. Sometimes they can ignore them. Sometimes they need to fight - and Balthus almost wishes that was more often because there is something he's good at. A problem he can fix, have fun fixing.

Everything else... he can't take it off Yuri's shoulders. He'd say 'hey, it's okay to rely on your bash bros a bit more' but functionally what does it amount to? Well, he should hunt down Constance for some book-keeping, maybe. It's not enough.

Nothing is enough these days, for nobody. ]

[tricher]

Yeah, it doesn't suit you.

[Balthus leans over, into Yuri's space, and snatches the pen from his hand before Yuri can so much as act. Which is a feat in and of itself, considering how much faster than Balthus he usually is. He can deny his exhaustion all he wants, but it's obvious in moments like this, reactions sluggish where they should be deft. It doesn't stop Yuri from standing up from his chair in a blur of motion, staring up at Balthus. There's a stillness to his body, a steely glint in his eyes. Not Yuri, but the savage mockingbird.

And just as quickly, Yuri falters, shoulders dropping as he buries his face into his hand.]

Sorry. I... don't know what's gotten into me.

[He does know. He just doesn't want to acknowledge it, because that would mean conceding defeat. And worse, giving Balthus more reason to interfere with Yuri working. He knows he's trying to help, but Abyss needs Yuri more. If he has to sacrifice sleep or otherwise for it, then so be it.]

I miss when you weren't so nosy.

[A lie. The closer they've gotten, the more Balthus wants to push Yuri's boundaries, dig deeper, get him to open up more than he willingly has for anyone else before. But Yuri wouldn't want to go back to how things were before, loathe as he is to admit it.

He pushes in his chair. An olive branch, maybe. Or a bait and switch to get Balthus to ease up so Yuri can go back to working once his back is turned.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Whoa there. Balthus puts up his hands in a gesture of surrender the moment Yuri shoots up. As much as he enjoys a good brawl, he has no intention of offending Yuri so badly that he deigns it necessary to become physically threatening. This look... he can't say he's not familiar with it, but it's a personal little goal on his humble bucket list to not be on the receiving end of it.

But then the tension fades as quickly as it came and Balthus returns to a smile. The pen he won from Yuri is still in his hand, so he spins it around triumphantly. ]

Do you, now? I dare you to say that again once you've gotten a good night of sleep thanks to your pal Balthus.

[ This good pal certainly has no intention of giving the pen back anytime soon. Or of leaving the room and thus Yuri to his own devices. As if to prove as much, he begins taking off his gloves and the chains of the uniform, making himself more comfortable for the evening. ]

I'll regret asking, but how does it look? How much gold do we need to grab to make ends meet this time? When it comes to making strategic debts, you can count on me, you know.

[tricher]

[Yuri would also prefer Balthus not be on the receiving end of his threats, but his sleep-addled brain has different thoughts. At least Balthus seems to take no offense. He grins, and some of the guilt eases from Yuri's shoulders.]

I don't think you could give me a good night's sleep if you tried.

[He intends that exactly as suggestive as it sounds, because he is a terror.

Yuri watches in bemusement as Balthus takes off his gloves and chains to settle in. They've shared a room like this for long enough that it's not as if he misses the privacy-- but Balthus is distracting at the best of times, and that's not when he's impeding on Yuri's ill-advised work ethic. Oh well. He'll just get back up when Balthus falls asleep.]

Ten thousand, if we want everyone fed this month. Seventeen if we want to be armed.

[He levels Balthus with a look. No turns of phrase or silver tongues, just the ugly truth. He owes Balthus too much to lie to him. In this moment, even though his expression is neutral, Yuri just looks... drained.]

Bit more than even your strategic debts could fetch us, I'd reckon. But thanks anyway, friend. We'll figure it out.

[They have to figure it out.]

[selfcrowned]

Ouch.

[ Double ouch, really. Between the attack on his prowess and these numbers... Well, the latter efficiently ensures he can't quip back. He does regret asking, just as expected, but it's necessary knowledge. Even if he can't procure this much money for them, he can at least make Yuri talk about it and share some of the burden that way. Balthus is an expert at commiserating about money woes. He sits down on the lower bunk and sighs heavily. ]

I can get you some of it. The old debt collectors have pretty much given up on me - half of them are drafted into the war anyway.

[ He'll have some whole new bounty hunters after his head after that, but that's okay. Same old, same old. If they weren't so miserable, he'd almost have gotten bored without constantly getting hunted down. Danger is the spice of life or something. Balthus know he's wholly irresponsible, but as long as it only concerns himself, he doesn't really see a reason to stop. He chose this reckless life for himself and everything that's coming for him is karma. He'll fight it off time and time again and if one day he isn't able to, he'll be able to look his death in the eye and proudly proclaim that he more than deserves it. ]

Won't be the first time I go hungry either. I got you.

[tricher]

[Balthus plunks himself down on the lower bunk-- mussed sheets, as always-- and sighs as Yuri starts rifling through his drawers in search of something to change into. If Balthus is going to get comfortable, he might as well, too.]

And you think that's a great excuse to go digging yourself deeper? The war will end eventually.

[He hopes. Goddess, he hopes.

Once again, Yuri wonders exactly why Balthus is still hanging around. If the debt collectors have all but given up, he doesn't need to stay in Abyss to avoid them. Absolutely doesn't need to tie himself tighter to this sinking-- no.

He tugs out a grey and purple loungewear set from his wardrobe with a little more ferocity than necessary for... clothing. Then he turns away from Balthus and strips out of his uniform coat and pants, left in his underwear for the briefest moment before changing into his sleepclothes. He sits himself on the floor across from Balthus's bunk.]

We're not completely destitute. We can still trade the goods we make here... perhaps ask the fortune teller to start taking an audience. Or I can...

[Yuri trails off, sighs. It sounds heavier than it should, like there's some unspoken weight behind it.]

I'll... cook something delicious for us when this is over.

[selfcrowned]

[ Against his will, Balthus finds his eyes glued to the small of Yuri's back as he changes. It's nothing he hasn't seen before. There is only so much time you can spend fighting and living together before you've seen most of one another. And yet... it's captivating in its own way. It's something Balthus notices more and more frequently lately and he doesn't quite know what to do with it, Yuri's long hair, longer now, the way it falls over his shoulders... the slenderness of his waist... When it comes to beauty, Yuri can compete against any woman, easily. Balthus has always known this, but it rings truer and truer every day. It's just like that little trickster to make a man confused, Balthus tells himself, and tries to leave it at that. It's a relief when Yuri's putting a shirt back on.

There's still the soft white skin of his arms and legs, of course, but that's a lot easier to... not stare at. Yeah. ]

Now there's a good motivator! I'll keep myself afloat no problem with some positive reinforcement and something to look forward to.

[ Though his cheer may come on a bit too strong, he certainly means it. The thought of sitting around a table together merrily once more is a warm one. This kind of simple and joyful reality is a goal Balthus can really get behind - no complicated politics, nothing abstract. Simply fighting for a future where they can eat together with ease. ]

But seriously. I'll find money. Let the debt collectors be my concern. Dealt with them for years, can deal with some more. The debt collector who can dethrone the mighty King of Grappling hasn't been born yet. 'Sides if it's for a good cause for once, I'm raising my cred with the Goddess, I'm sure.

[tricher]

[Yuri has always been beautiful. Unfairly, captivatingly so-- if sirens were real, there'd no longer be any question of his lineage. Despite all odds, he seems even more beautiful, lately. Long, soft strands of his hair framing his heart-shaped face, mouth plush and full, waist trim and tiny. When he bends over, the faint ridge of his spine hints at his skin, all but begging to be traced by a hand or a mouth. It's in everyone's best interests when he gets covered up again. Yuri's just as dangerous unclothed as he is with a blade.]

Heh, you're one of a kind, aren't you.

[Sad, Yuri thinks, that positive reinforcement for them now is the promise of a decent meal after goddess knows how many months of going hungry. Sadder still that Yuri has to encourage one of his own to willingly skip eating. He knows Balthus's cheer is genuine, but it doesn't stop a sour taste from lingering in Yuri's mouth.]

I don't think the goddess does anything but shake her sorry head at you.

[The mirth in his tone doesn't quite reach his eyes, and Yuri is quiet for a lingering, considering beat.]

This place isn't your responsibility, you know. If you're looking for an excuse to cut ties... well, now's as good a time as any.

[selfcrowned]

[ Ah. There it is. Balthus has spent months now dropping hints with absolutely zero subtlety that he isn't going to leave, and yet... It's not even that he has nowhere else to go. With the debt collectors and bounty hunters largely out of the way and every house in desperate search for a fighting force, it would be easy for him to find employment. This war is a mercenary's paradise.

And yet, Balthus hasn't even considered it. He could be making some money back, he could be figuring this out on his own and deal fairly well... but it's never been on his mind. Concern for his mother, yes, but not the idea of walking simply for the sake of walking. Walking because it'd be easier. It's no secret that Balthus likes cheating his way through life as is most convenient, but... ]

You really don't get it, do you? That pretty little head's all cramped up with numbers and calculations and yet you get to your wits' end so easily sometimes.

[ He shakes his head, and for once he's not smiling. ]

I'm stayin'. Abyss gave me a home when I had nowhere to turn to. I'm a dirtbag, sure, but I'm not gonna run and let all these helpless souls take a beating. I owe them.

[ And that's a large part of it, but it's not the full reason either. Balthus breathes in harshly, fist a little too tight around that pen. ]

'Sides, what would happen to you if I bailed? Don't answer that. I know damn well that whatever you'd say isn't gonna be the whole truth. Point is, I'm not letting it happen. We're comrades, remember?

[tricher]

[It's not Balthus, not exactly. Yuri isn't stupid-- he can see that Balthus has no intent to leave Abyss. He's not the type of person to have any guile, especially not the sort that holds up under Yuri's scrutiny. But Yuri also knows intent means nothing. He's learned the hard way that betrayal can come from anywhere. Right now, Balthus claims to want to be here. But tomorrow? A week from now? Another hellish year into this war that none of them asked for?

Yuri's mouth falls open in soft surprise. Balthus hasn't called him out to this level since... well, since he reamed Yuri out for keeping secrets when Aelfric had him pinned under his thumb.]

Excuse me?

[There's a part of him that has some questions about Balthus pointing out Yuri's appearance whenever he's fired up like this but-- no, not the time.

Balthus is loud by nature, but it's usually tied together with a foolhardy statement and a dopey grin. Less like this, frowning and breathing hard and clenching his fist like he's ready to swing on Yuri's words. It's intense-- and even moreso when Balthus steamrolls right into declaring that he means to stay by Yuri's side, specifically. Something warm and full blooms unbidden in his chest. He could claim that he'd be fine without Balthus-- had been fine before Balthus-- but as loathe as he is to admit it, Balthus isn't wrong that it wouldn't be entirely truthful.

So Yuri finds the perfectly wrong moment to laugh.]

Hahaha...! Wow. Didn't think I'd ever hear you so eloquent. Or maybe I'm just that tired, that you're making sense.

[Balthus has earned an admission of Yuri's exhaustion, too. A victory on all fronts.]

I suppose we're stuck in this together, then... comrade.

[selfcrowned]

[ Of course Yuri would laugh. In hindsight, Balthus isn't sure how he could have ever expected anything else. The weird thing is that he doesn't mind. Yuri's genuine laughter is a welcome sound, a rare treasure. Even if it's at Balthus' expense, even if it is laughing off what Balthus would so very much like for Yuri to really get through his thick skull... It still sounds good.

He forces himself to breathe out slowly, releasing some of that tension that comes with being questioned on one of the few things he is actually putting his conviction behind. That's better. ]

Damn straight, we are.

[ He finally drops the stupid pen onto the bed and stretches, crossing his hands behind his neck in the end. ]

We faced tough odds before, remember? [ More like Yuri made them face those odds because it was their best chance to live at all, and they somehow made it through. It counts, anyway. ] it's pretty bad now, when you got me speechifying, but nothing we can't handle.

Everyone in Abyss is gonna feel a hell lot better seeing you take care of yourself, too.

[ Yuri may be distanced, may keep to himself, may lie a lot, but... he is also the heart of Abyss. Now more than ever, everyone can feel as much. ]

[tricher]

[Yuri is often laughing at Balthus's expense-- but rarely so genuine like this, surprised and delighted. It's like the soft tinkling of bells. Bright, clear, too pure to be coming out of his mouth. Laughter is an easy crutch for him, a defense mechanism, so if he's disarming himself with it... well, Balthus should consider himself lucky. (For perhaps the first time in his lawless life.)

Getting too worked up doesn't suit Balthus, and when Yuri watches him exhale, relax, it has something tight in his own chest easing, too.

The thing about tough odds is that Yuri always takes the time to weigh them, consider all the options, make a calculated decision based on their chances. He never plays a hand he doesn't think will win. But Yuri can't bring himself to examine the odds in this case. He's too terrified to see how they stack up. What's he going to do if he comes to find that they're worse off than they were during the Rite of Rising?]

They'd feel even better with full bellies. Taking care of myself comes second to that.

[And they've cycled back here again. Yuri, refusing himself what he can't come to accept he deserves. He's still finding out how to navigate the choppy waters of leading Abyss, and the seas are stormier without the protection of the Church. He was never trained for this, but it's on his shoulders now-- even more so than after Aelfric died, when Abyss needed a shoulder to cry on more than a back to hide behind. How could Yuri so much as dare to think of himself?]

Just because I'm letting you carry some of the burden, doesn't mean I'm shafting my own.

[selfcrowned]

[ Familiar territory yet again, but that's okay. This pattern of self-neglect won't be changed in a day. Yuri will find that Balthus can be astoundingly persistent once he's really put his mind to something. ]

I'm not talking about shafting. Just some good old redistributing. Keeping morale high is also a leader's duty and all that.

[ Balthus may not have understood a whole lot while he was in the Officer's Academy, but the basics of warfare came more than easily to him. How to fight, whether alone or in a group... that's something he grasps with ease. The people of Abyss may not be fighting with swords and lances now, but they're fighting for their survival. Motivation on the battlefield is what makes or breaks the chances of that. ]

And I'm sure you're finally tired of hearing this, so let's make some good use of that. Bed time.

[ He actually has the audacity to clap his hands once, as if giving the signal. Being sensitive or particularly respectful does not count among his strength, even if he rarely really means ill by it. ]

[tricher]

[Yuri prefers Balthus's persistence to make itself known on the battlefield, when he targets a foe ruthlessly, or when Yuri asks him to accomplish a task that he needs completed with brutal efficiency. Not when Balthus is trying to hold Yuri accountable.]

Hearing you say things like that reminds me that you were supposed to lead a noble house once. Gives me goosebumps.

[Complete with Yuri crinkling his nose in exaggerated distaste. He considers making a crack about wishing he'd trained for Garreg Mach's White Heron Cup, if motivation is such a huge concern-- but even the suggestion of performing like that rubs against something raw in him. Anything involving the Officer's Academy feels like it's from centuries ago, anyway. Yuri isn't the type to bring up dusty old memories like that. Let sleeping wolves lie, lest they tear you apart.]

I'm tired of hearing you carry on about sleep, too.

[Yuri raises his brows as Balthus claps once, loud and ringing. He pushes himself back to his feet, a rare unsteadiness to the motion that he quickly disguises with a stretch. But rather than make his way to bed, Yuri moves in close to Balthus, crowds him... and snatches the discarded pen from the mattress. He twirls it in his fingers as Balthus did, deft and somehow mocking, stepping back a half-pace.]

Just give in already, and let me work.

[selfcrowned]

[ For a moment Balthus is distracted by the comment about his heritage - though he obviously never forgets where he came from, it's harder and harder these days to really identify as one who ever used to be noble. It never suited him. Even when he was still attending the Officer's Academy as an actual student, he'd felt a little like he stuck out among the other lordlings. His ties to Holst Goneril had connected him to the place and everyone else more than anything. How nostalgic...

Those are brief sentiments cut even shorter by Yuri's sudden close range presence and then departure. That little--- He huffs in displeasure and gets up from his seat in a swift movement.]

Carry on you say? Well, that just gives me an idea.

[ Balthus' brain is not exactly known for being up to speed with his instincts at all times, so before he really thinks better of it, he steps in and makes a pretty bold attempt to just quite literally sweep Yuri off his feet. ]

He that will not hear must feel or however it goes.

[tricher]

[Yuri won't complain about Balthus deciding the nobility didn't suit him. After all, if Balthus had been a model student, the perfect example of lordship, would he have ever ended up in a place like Abyss? And then Yuri would be...

Well. He's never had an issue with solitude before, but it's-- misery loves company, or something like that.

Yuri watches as Balthus huffs and stands up, eyes bright and curious. There's a smug smirk plastered on his face that's wholly Yuri, and arguably the liveliest he's looked in weeks. He hops another half step back.]

You, having an idea? What a rari--

[He interrupts himself with a yelp as Balthus steps forwards and unceremoniously scoops him up into his arms. Yuri really must be tired, for Balthus to surprise and outspeed him-- being able to lift him is a given. He presses a palm to Balthus's chest and shoves at him, wriggling in his arms.]

Balthus, you will put me down.

[Less threatening than he usually comes off, thanks to the pajamas and the manhandling, and his face is a little... pink? Although he's brandishing his pen in a way that would be concerning if it were anyone but Balthus holding him.]

[selfcrowned]

[ So, upon reflection, maybe literally scooping a guy into his arms to carry him to bed is not the most well-thought-out move Balthus has ever made. Yuri is not the first person he's picked up and done this to, but usually there was a lot more charged intent behind it, and now he's just... Well. It seemed like a good idea, but now Yuri seems to be blushing and his hand is against Balthus' bare chest and this immediately makes the whole situation seem a damn lot less innocuous.

Thank goodness Yuri is struggling like a wild little beast, a welcome distraction from how small he is, how easy to simply hold---- yeah, no, nope, nope. Not going down this line of thoughts tonight.

That doesn't mean Balthus will let go, however. He's committed to winning this argument by now and he's only gripping Yuri tighter to subdue the struggle a little. ]

Nooope. Don't think I will.

[ Having now successfully pushed aside any unwelcome thoughts, Balthus has it in him to smirk again. It is kind of funny to hold Yuri of all people in such an undignified position. ]

[tricher]

[The heart of the conflict-- Yuri is also committed to winning this argument, in no small part now because he just doesn't like to lose. Especially to Balthus. And of course, just like Balthus with his good ideas, Yuri has no intention of backing down from the decisions he makes. That's just part of giving in, isn't it?

So, yes. He's going to keep squirming until Balthus squeezes him tight against his chest.]

Nnf.

[A noise so quiet, it could almost go unheard if Yuri wasn't this close to Balthus. His arms are pinned between him and Balthus now, and all the shoving in the world wouldn't help free them. Yuri has always known, obviously, but... he can't help his thoughts drifting to how strong Balthus is. And muscular. And-- goddess Yuri is tired.]

Yes, I do think you will, or I'm going to make you regret it--

[Somehow. Really.

Even though he can barely wiggle any more.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Hm. This is kind of like restraining one of the many stray cats of Garreg Mach when they decide to get angry at him for poking them too much. Only Yuri is not a cat but his friend and leader, and it's... hm.

At the very least, he's glad to have Yuri restrained properly now, meaning he won't end up with a pen stabbed into his eye. Yeah. That's a start.

What a warm bundle in his arms though... It's kind of cute, really? Which is again a line of thought he does not want to follow because everything tonight is already going a little over his processing capability and he has no interest in straining his brain any more than necessary - ever.

Balthus is just going to move back towards Yuri's bad now. Dumping him in there is no guarantee he'll actually stay in it, but that's a problem for two minutes in the future. ]

You're welcome to. I'm a jerk, not like I won't deserve it. Unfortunately that means I also won't back down now.

[tricher]

[The run-ins Yuri has with the strays that hang around Abyss and the monastery are few and far between, because any interaction he does have with them leads to a blotchy face, runny nose, and sneezing that is very unflattering. But if he could spend more time with them, the residents of the underground might find other similarities between their leader and the cats. Stray mentality has no borders between species.

Mockingbird will have to suffice, as far as animal comparisons go.

He runs a bit warm, and doubly so when he's worked up like this, body a searing stripe of heat along Balthus's torso. Yuri's struggles renew as Balthus approaches his bunk. It's not like he couldn't just get out of his bed again once he's freed, but it's the principle of the thing. That, and he wouldn't put it past Balthus to blockade him in bed until he falls asleep. On that note... Yuri's not sure he can keep himself awake if he ends up horizontal.]

Wow, what a martyr. Fine, then. You've made your point, I'll go to bed, just put me down.

[Don't believe him, Balthus, he's lying through his teeth.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Balthus glances down at Yuri skeptically which doesn't yield a lot of result given all he can see his unruly purple hair. ]

At this point letting you to the floor first is extra effort.

[ They're so close now, it's kind of ridiculous to not go all the way with whatever this has turned into. The only thing more awkward than literally carrying Yuri to bed would be carrying to a step in front of the bed, defeating the whole purpose of any picking up.

So Balthus crosses the last distance and lets the Yuri-bundle flop down onto his bunk. Instantly he feels the cool chill against his body where Yuri previously was and it's... a little sad, really? Not that Balthus has ever been much of a cuddling type, but there's still something nice about physical contact and--- nope. ]

Nighty night now, boss.

[tricher]

You bastard--

[Yuri knows what Balthus is planning the second he opens his mouth, because they've lived together for long enough by now and Balthus is not skilled in subterfuge. Regrettably, in this instance knowledge is not power, and knowing that Balthus is going to deposit him into his bunk does nothing to help him prevent it from happening. He falls out of Balthus's arms and bounces on the mattress, growling in aggravation as he comes to rest in an untidy heap.

The expression on his face can be described as nothing but sour.]

You're unbelievable.

[As if Yuri has any room to talk.]

I didn't even take off my makeup.

[He sighs, long and aggrieved, and fidgets around until he's sprawled out, head propped up by his hand with his elbow on the bed. He works his fingers into his hair, nails dragging softly along his scalp. Weariness pulls at him. This is exactly why he wanted to avoid this. A few seconds on a soft (if lumpy) surface, and Yuri could almost just let his eyes slip shut. The perils of creature comforts.

There's a long, soft moment of quiet before Yuri turns his head, tucks his cheek into his palm and huffs, near inaudible--]

...Thanks.

[For caring, remains unspoken.]

[selfcrowned]

[ For a moment, Balthus is preoccupied by the notion of removing make-up to sleep. It's a process he has seen a bunch of times (on Yuri, mostly, but also on Constance who then chased him out of the room with a well-aimed throw or two of various objects) but he's never really thought about it. Is it necessary? Why is it important? The answers to these questions are not knowledge he's ever going to need, but he gets stuck on them for just a moment and then---


.......... oh.

That's something he didn't expect to hear tonight. And for a moment he's simply stunned into silence, looking down on Yuri and just taking him in... Vulnerable like this, opening up like this, just... They've really come a long way. Balthus would have knocked people out for Yuri within two days of meeting him, but this reciprocal dynamic of theirs? That's newer. And it feels precious, even to Balthus who is not notable for his skill in recognizing precious things unless they're metals.

He breaks into a smile that isn't all that smug anymore. ]

You're welcome, boss. Sweet dreams.

[tricher]

[Tonight isn't the night to explain to Balthus the banes of sleeping in make-up, and perhaps no night is, if Yuri hopes to hold onto his sanity. Luckily for the both of them, he's enough to interrupt Balthus's wandering thoughts.

There's an effortless beauty to him, the edges of which are softened by sleep. Maybe softened by this thing that neither of them are willing to acknowledge. The Rite of Rising changed things between them, sure, but Yuri opening up? Treating Balthus like an equal? That's all thanks to Balthus and his headstrong persistence.

Yuri huffs softly, settles his head down on his pillow. Lilac hair pools around his face.]

Yeah, yeah. Don't let it go to your head.

[And as simple as that, Yuri's asleep.

There are few hits and many misses in the following weeks. Yuri keeps burning the candle at both ends, because he's never known how to do anything else, but he's a little more receptive to Balthus's nagging over his health. They scrape together, repair, and sell every weapon and piece of armor they can from the scrap heap. Groups of able-bodied Abyss denizens work deep into the caverns of the underground, gathering up whatever relics that could have some sort of value. They're worth a lot less coin nowadays than they would have been in the past. The steel items that can be melted down into weapons prove the most lucrative. Balthus appears some evenings with gold, and Yuri feels like he's helping him pave the path to his ruin when he accepts it. Still, it's not enough. Yuri can barely line the stomachs of his people with the food they can afford to acquire. They need something more.

Balthus comes through once again.

Bodyguard work for a merchant caravan. They're looking for protection from bandits and otherwise, so they can move their merchandise between nations during the war. It's dangerous, so it pays well. Balthus sniffs the lead out and brings the head of the merchants to Yuri-- the negotiation's all up to him after that, that's not Balthus's strong suit, he's told. Luckily for them, it is Yuri's strong suit-- in fact, he might hold the entire deck. So negotiate he does. The final deal is struck after three hours, and it's only thanks to Yuri's perfect composure that he doesn't tremble with joy when they shake hands on the agreement.

His cape swirls out behind him as he rushes through the hallways, heels clacking loud on the stones beneath him. At least two people jump in shock as Yuri bursts into each room he comes across, ducking out just as quickly.]

Balthus!

[He's not in any of the usual haunting spots, so Yuri keeps moving until he finds a back alley lit warm with fire magic. He shoves the thick wooden doors open to the first chamber in the hall, and beams when he sees Balthus.]

It's done. The deal, it's... it's all settled, friend.

[selfcrowned]

[ By the time Yuri comes find him, Balthus is in the middle of some sincere contemplation to waltz into the negotiation room and simply shake the merchant into accepting their terms. Being this nervous is stupid, he knows, but he still found himself pacing in aggravation more time than not during those past three hours.

They need this deal. They need it desperately. Even with the usual debt collectors gone from his life, Balthus is running out of ideas for where to obtain more gold. He's pretty sure a bunch of the wealthy have a 'kill on sight' order out for him by now. That really spices life up, but it's not exactly practical when you've got a few dozen hungry mouths to feed.

The situation is wearing them all down, even him. He's had worse, he's been closer to starving than this before, and still... knowing there's other people in it with him who deserve it so much less? That's what's stressful.

And then there's Yuri and Balthus whirls around to face him and wow. That's a smile alright. Balthus barely registers the actual words when that expression really says it all and makes all the weight drop of his shoulders instantaneously. ]

Hell yes!!

[ That cheer was louder than any indoors voice has a right to be, but damn if that isn't called for right now.

With a few quick steps Balthus is right in front of Yuri, matching that beam with equal intensity. ]

I knew you could get them to cave, boss! Leave the bodyguard stuff to me, we'll be swimming in coin in no time!

[tricher]

[There's a moment, just a moment, where Balthus spins on his heel to face Yuri and it feels like time-- stutters. Like something in the air hitches, like the lingering ring of a silence spell making his arms break out in goosebumps. It hangs there for a beat... and then it passes, and Balthus cheers loud enough to shake the stone walls around them.

A laugh bubbles up out of Yuri. That's about as enthusiastic as the yell, from him. When Balthus moves over next to him, he punches his arm. Barely enough to be felt, he's sure, but they both know that's Balthus's strong suit over his.]

Who would've thought a damn fool like you could have pulled this off.

[He's all but radiating with delight, more alive than Yuri has looked in months. More emotive than Yuri ever looks, really. He stretches, combs a hand through the length of his hair.]

We can take turns, no need to wear yourself out. We'll recruit whoever's interested to fill out the teams. Hapi's always complaining about having nothing to do.

But that can wait until tomorrow.

[Yuri fixes Balthus with the kind of look that usually means he's up to no good.]

Tonight we'll celebrate. I negotiated something of a... signing bonus to be left at the Wilting Rose.

[Booze. It's booze.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Yuri's laughter is infectious and Balthus gladly laughs along. It has been way too long since the two of them had anything to cheer about. Which isn't to say that Balthus hasn't laughed - it's hard for him not to, being jovial is just too fundamental to his personality - but he hasn't meant it this sincerely in months.

Yuri looks dazzling smiling like this and it makes Balthus think that the war has really taken a toll on his friend more than anybody - if he's this blindingly beautiful in comparison to before, the old look must have gotten pretty bad over time. Yeah, that's what this is. An exacerbated effect by comparison.

The mention of a bonus makes the laughter fade out into a pleased grin, like a cat basking in the sun. ]

You know how to make a man feel appreciated, I gotta say.

[tricher]

[They're long overdue for a win like this, and as good as he is at appearing unflappable, it's worn down on him. Balthus, too-- Yuri notices, although it's never been so glaringly obvious as it is right now, seeing the full luminosity of Balthus's laugh aimed at him. Like the sun. Yuri could never draw up that much warmth-- couldn't even manage to reflect that light Balthus puts out so effortlessly.

That's why Yuri keeps him around.]

Oh, I do know how to appreciate a man.

[It's no different from the kinds of lines he tosses out every other day of the week. But for some reason, the second it leaves his mouth this time, Yuri feels his chest flip. The tips of his ears warm.]

Well? Are you coming, or should I tell them that the indomitable king of overindulging in drink isn't interested tonight?

[Yuri's head tilts to the side a little, teasing and curious in equal measures. Then he nods back out toward the hall, and steps out, leading back toward the center of the settlement with his first few steps. Balthus will follow him. He always does.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Well, that's just dangerous. Nevermind appreciate, lines like this could kill a lesser man on the spot. It certainly gives even Balthus pause even though it shouldn't because Yuri says stuff like this literally all the time. He's made being a seductive little shit part of his personality after all; somehow transferred it into something threatening and imposing. Balthus never quite understood how that works only that it does. One others. It shouldn't work on him.

He shakes off the weird feeling and follows Yuri with wide steps. Having long legs means he's caught up within seconds, even giving Yuri a head-start. ]

Just try telling them. It'll only hurt your credibility.

[ If there is anybody the people at the inncan rely on it's Balthus von Albrecht. They certainly all greet him accordingly when they enter, as they always do. Balthus is a good pal to every habitual drinker in Abyss and he can never help fistbumping a few people on the way to finding a seat. ]

It's been way too long since we got let loose. Never thought I'd be the one to say this, but this war? Too much fightin'.

[tricher]

[Yuri's mix of seductive and threatening is like a double-edged blade that only he's worked out how to wield. Balthus isn't the first person to be mystified by it, but not many men are consistently so unaffected by Yuri's wordplay. Usually, he appreciates it-- that Balthus isn't duped by his dressed-up sentences, or maybe they just don't do anything for him-- but right now, it makes Yuri feel a prickle under his skin that he doesn't have a name for.

Balthus catches up easily. There's not much ground that eleven extra inches of height can't make up for. Sometimes Yuri finds that frustrating, if he's trying to outpace him. He ends up half-jogging in front of Balthus taking easy strides to keep up every time they argue, and it doesn't do much for his case. They don't argue much lately, though, and Yuri appreciates Balthus keeping by his side.]

Hah. As if anything could damage my credibility with the citizens of Abyss.

[Not that they don't see and appreciate what Balthus does for them, too. That's immediately evident when they stroll into the inn, and all the bar rats greet him enthusiastically. Yuri has to step out of range of a full, sloshing mug when Balthus bumps fists with someone, and he huffs and steers him along to a table tucked into the far corner of the inn.]

Too much fighting? For the King of Grappling? Never thought I'd hear that out of you, either.

[Even the reminder of the world they now live in isn't enough to dampen Yuri's spirits. They're getting a lot of looks from around the room-- he hasn't made an announcement about the deal yet, but Yuri bringing strange merchants down into Abyss certainly hasn't gone unnoticed, and gossip travels fast in the underground.

Or maybe they've have just seen that Yuri's smiling.

The bartender drops them two tall mugs of a sweet-smelling mead, unbidden. By scent alone, it seems higher quality than anything that's been poured in the Wilting Rose before.]

I'd be content to forget all about it, for tonight. Hopefully this'll help.

[Yuri punctuates his statement with a long sip from the mug, and a sigh of content.]

[selfcrowned]

[ Balthus sighs contently as they sit down, taking a moment to simply stretch and get comfortable. It's really been a long time since he could walk into this room without the shadow of worry following him. Drinking in and of itself is a lot harder when the amount of drink available is so painfully limited, for starters. That isn't a problem now and even without the contrast to the harsh reality of war, Balthus would not be Balthus if he didn't get excited at the smell of nice mead. ]

It's half about the drink and half about the attitude, I'll have you know. I'm not only the king of grappling but also the king of emptying my head. Even the great Abysslord Yuri can learn a few tricks from me.

[ He picks up his mug, still smiling an easy sort of smile that is less teasing and more simply content. An actual swig of the drink has him sighing in delight. ]

... okay, this will absolutely help though. Man, I've missed this.

[ All of it. Not just the alcohol but also the carefree evenings, just sitting with Yuri and betting stories on all kinds of inane things. Abyss has never been affluent, never been pretty, but it used to be happy. To Balthus, it had been the first place in the world that he really would call home. It is home in a way House Albrecht can't ever be, because Balthus is not made of the stuff lords and ladies are made of. He wonders where they went wrong in raising him, sometimes. Casting the noble lifestyle aside had not felt like punishment to Balthus but like tossing off chains. Where other nobles fret and fear about losing their titles, Balthus would take any day spent hungry and beaten on the streets over returning to his old lifestyle.

This is where he belongs, among the common folks and the outcasts. He closes his eyes for just a second, listening to the murmuring in the inn, and he feels revitalized. ]

[tricher]

[Balthus's new moniker has another laugh spilling out of him, easy and warm. He raises his brows as he peeks over the rim of his mug, then lets it clunk back down on the top of the table. Yuri's chin comes to settle on his hand, propped up by his elbow.]

I don't think I want to hear exactly what your idea of tricks are. Could stand to hear you call me the great Abysslord a few more times, though.

[Teasing, always teasing. But Balthus's content smile makes Yuri think he takes no offense to it. (Hopefully, by now Balthus would know not to take Yuri's sharp tongue too seriously.) Balthus finally follows suit in sipping at the mead, and the contented sigh he breathes threads warmth through Yuri's chest. It's why he negotiated for the addition of the alcohol to their deal-- even though it added another half hour to their meeting. He knew that Balthus... that the people of Abyss would find joy in the reminder of easier times. If not that, then they could at least take comfort in the distraction it offered.]

I'll be honest... I missed it, too.

[Yuri lifts his chin from his hand, tosses his hair over his shoulder as he sits back. It sounds like an easy admittance, but honesty is hard for Yuri, and he means something bigger than just the nostalgia of sitting with Balthus over a few drinks. Confessing that he missed this goes hand in hand with acknowledging that it was gone-- that Abyss was in as much danger as it was, with no funds and no prospects. No patrons to swoop in at the eleventh hour and save them. It's all on Yuri, this time... but they managed to create their own act of the goddess. That just opens up the possibility of more.

Yuri notices Balthus close his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. He watches for a few beats. Balthus is rarely still like this, quiet, and Yuri feels compelled to just... take it in. Then he grabs the handle of his mug again and slides it forward to bump up against Balthus's.]

To getting hopelessly trashed with no regard for tomorrow's responsibilities.

[selfcrowned]

[ Balthus gladly returns the toast, with a bit more force than necessary. Then again, if there aren't a few drops of drink spilling over the corners of your mug, is it even a toast? Bumping drinks together is a symbol of liveliness, it's an experience of affluence and joy, it shouldn't be entirely clean. ]

To exactly that! Couldn't have said it better. You always were well-spoken.

[ And he takes another hearty swig from his cup because honestly, he might as well get a headstart in on this whole getting trashed business. Bad habits are where Balthus is really in his element. ]

Up for a little betting game?

[ He doesn't know what to bet about or for, but the best ideas come spontaneously. Probably.

It's all about the principle of the matter anyway, because this is what they do when they spend nights out late talking about nothing but nonsense. Balthus would lose all the time and it would only raise his fascination with the game, if he's entirely honest. There is something intriguing about letting Yuri take everything from him like he's a deity of fortune incarnate - or maybe just a little cheater. Both of these options have their appeal. ]

[tricher]

And I've never made better use of it before tonight.

[Using his gift with words not to cheat, coerce, or wrap up slimy nobles with silver-tongued tales-- but to negotiate a deal to help Abyss, and then to toast over the victory. It's... fulfilling.

Yuri's mouth curves up into a soft smirk, eyes bright with the shine of mischief. He drinks to give himself another beat of pause, then his head tips to the side, hair cascading over his shoulder.]

Up to bleed you dry, you mean? Is the answer ever no?

[The nostalgia of Balthus offering a bet isn't lost on him. He's heard every story Balthus has to tell and then some, because Yuri is both incredibly lucky and a little cheat. That doesn't make their games any less satisfying. It's become their thing, in a way, even if they haven't had much time for it in a while. And there's a thrill in risking Balthus getting something out of him, some day. Unlikely as it is.]

I know neither of us have much of physical value to put on the line, so... play for truths? We'll throw dice. I'll even let you pick the set.

[Because both of them know every die Yuri owns is loaded.]

Whoever wins gets to ask any question. If it proves too tough to answer, [Yuri raps his knuckles against the side of his mug,] the penalty is to finish your drink. Thoughts?