[Yuri is often laughing at Balthus's expense-- but rarely so genuine like this, surprised and delighted. It's like the soft tinkling of bells. Bright, clear, too pure to be coming out of his mouth. Laughter is an easy crutch for him, a defense mechanism, so if he's disarming himself with it... well, Balthus should consider himself lucky. (For perhaps the first time in his lawless life.)
Getting too worked up doesn't suit Balthus, and when Yuri watches him exhale, relax, it has something tight in his own chest easing, too.
The thing about tough odds is that Yuri always takes the time to weigh them, consider all the options, make a calculated decision based on their chances. He never plays a hand he doesn't think will win. But Yuri can't bring himself to examine the odds in this case. He's too terrified to see how they stack up. What's he going to do if he comes to find that they're worse off than they were during the Rite of Rising?]
They'd feel even better with full bellies. Taking care of myself comes second to that.
[And they've cycled back here again. Yuri, refusing himself what he can't come to accept he deserves. He's still finding out how to navigate the choppy waters of leading Abyss, and the seas are stormier without the protection of the Church. He was never trained for this, but it's on his shoulders now-- even more so than after Aelfric died, when Abyss needed a shoulder to cry on more than a back to hide behind. How could Yuri so much as dare to think of himself?]
Just because I'm letting you carry some of the burden, doesn't mean I'm shafting my own.
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Date: 2020-06-20 12:54 am (UTC)Getting too worked up doesn't suit Balthus, and when Yuri watches him exhale, relax, it has something tight in his own chest easing, too.
The thing about tough odds is that Yuri always takes the time to weigh them, consider all the options, make a calculated decision based on their chances. He never plays a hand he doesn't think will win. But Yuri can't bring himself to examine the odds in this case. He's too terrified to see how they stack up. What's he going to do if he comes to find that they're worse off than they were during the Rite of Rising?]
They'd feel even better with full bellies. Taking care of myself comes second to that.
[And they've cycled back here again. Yuri, refusing himself what he can't come to accept he deserves. He's still finding out how to navigate the choppy waters of leading Abyss, and the seas are stormier without the protection of the Church. He was never trained for this, but it's on his shoulders now-- even more so than after Aelfric died, when Abyss needed a shoulder to cry on more than a back to hide behind. How could Yuri so much as dare to think of himself?]
Just because I'm letting you carry some of the burden, doesn't mean I'm shafting my own.